Tuesday, October 3. 1704.
I Brought the Hungarians in the Last Review, just to the Precipice of their own Ruine, when despising all the Concessions of the Emperor; which at the Intercession of the Protestant Electors, had been such, that the very Turks themselves suspected they could not refuse an Accommodation.
The Apprehensions of this, occasion’d the Turkish Ambassadors to make mighty Offers of Imaginary Honours, such as no People in the World, who had not projected the Absolute Ruine of Europe, would have the least Imagination could ever be made good.
Upon these Expectations, Count Teckeley, and Eighty of the Principal Nobility and Gentry of Hungary, enter into this black Contract, and agree with the Turks for Protection and Assistance against the Emperor; and on that Condition stipulate in the Name of all the Kingdom, to make Hungaria Tributary to the Turks, to become his Servants, and to pay to his Ottoman Highness a Tribute of 8oooo Crowns per Ann. Vid. Knowl’s Contin. fol. 28o.
To make this yet more plain, the Grand Seignior, in Pursuance of the abovesaid Treaty, sends the following haughty Command to Abassi Prince of Transylvania.
“FOrasmuch as those of Hungary who have receiv’d the Emperor of the Nazarene Nation to be their Lord, have been spoil’d of their Country and Castles by the Germans, and have therefore had Recourse to our Clemency for Protection; it is our Pleasure, in Regard of their long and piteous Miseries, and being thereunto mov’d by their reiterated Prayers and Supplications, graciously to affranchise them from the Yoke of that Nation; ’Tis therefore that we Communicate this Design to you, as our faithful Minister by the Bassa Caput, and the Aga Starra, with Express Command, that you make your self forthwith ready to deliver the Hungarians from the Oppressions of their Enemies with all the Forces of Transylvania, which shall be immediately Reinforced with those of Valachia, and of the Bassa of Silistria, 13003 Janizaries, and 20000 Horse; for we have promised them our Imperial Protection, in Consideration of the Fidelity which they have manifested to us, which we have since had Experience of; and therefore we Command you yet again to Neglect nothing that may tend to The Execution of our Pleasure and Good Will, to the End that by the Assistance of the most high and most mighty God, this People so cruelly oppress’d, may be forthwith delivered from the Bondage of the Unmerciful Germans. In the mean time you shall from Time to Time Inform our Great Ottoman Mightyness with what shall happen, and what you shall have done pursuant here unto; and you are farther to take heed that you do nothing that may be disadvantageous to our Incomparable Greatness.˝
When the Fox preaches beware the Geese. ’Tis something odd to hear the Turks Call the Germans Unmerciful, to hear the Sons of Mahomet, that Depopulated the most flourishing Provinces of the Grecian Empire, talk of Oppressions and Cruelties: But above all, ’tis apparent by this Commission, that the Protestants, I had rather say the Hungarians Reiterated their Prayers and Supplications to the Turks, Reiterated their Prayers, &c. to the Turks to destroy Christendome.
Let us now Examine the Fruits of this haughty Mandate; Prince Abassi, who otherwise was a hearty Enemy to the Emperor, and a Tributary himself to Turkish Power; yet when he finds he is to be the Beginner of Europe’s Universal Trouble, he is the first that Relents at the Horrid Undertaking.
Upon this Conjunction, he puts forth a Declaration, intimating that he did not Arm against the Interest of Christendom: Indeed he found a great deal of Reason to Publish this Cautionary Priviso, for ’twas hard to imagin how he could Invade the Emperor, in Conjunction with the Turks, and bring the Mahometan Arms into the Field against the Christians, and not appear against the General Interest of Christendom.
Arm’d with such Assistances, and defended with such a Declaration, he advances into Upper Hungary, and sets down before Zatmar; here he received 8000 Men more from the Bassa of Buda, and Advice that he followed with 40000 more.
Abassi press’d Zatmar hard, and carryed the Town, but the Cittadel held out against all his Forces, and made a terrible slaughter among his Men.
And here Abassi began to consider with himself, and to make some serious Reflections upon what he was doing.
He found, that tho’ he was fighting for the Protestants, the Turks took Possession of whatever he Conquer’d; and that which grieved him most, was, That the Protestants of Hungary were content it should be so; this made him slack his Assaults of the Cittadel of Zatmar, and dwindle away the Time before it, till the Vigorous Resistance of the German Garrison oblig’d him to raise his Siege; and the Bassa of the Turks that Commanded under him, sent loud Clamours against him to Constantinople.
The Hungarians abandon’d thus by the Transilvanian, whose Honour was too great to joyn with the Measures he saw they had concerted, and being harrass’d by Count Caprara, flye to Treaties and Cessations to amuse the Emperor, and gain Time, till the Turks, with whom they were closely Leagu’d, could be ready to put the unhappy Design in Execution.
That this was but a design to Amuse the Emperor, appears in that the Preparations for War the Turks made all this Winter, effectually Demonstrated, that nothing but War and Destruction was to be expected.
The Truce made first to continue to the 31st of March, was afterwards continued to the 1st. of July; but in this very interval, and under the Sacred Articles of a Truce and Cessation, the Malecontents seiz’d on all the Corn, which the Emperor’s Commissaries had bought on the Frontiers of Poland to store his Magazines; and in another Place in Conjunction with the Turks, surpriz’d an Imperial Commissary going with Clothes for the Imperial Army.
The Bassa sent his Son to receive him at the Gate of the City at the Head of all the Horse of the Garrison, to Compliment him in his Name, and regale him with Refreshments of all sorts, according to the Turkish Fashion; the Bassa himself, receiv’d him at the Head of his Janizaries; and after all possible Civilities, he was assured there of the Assistance and Protection of the Grand Seignior, upon all occasions.
Farther ’tis said, he took his Hungarian Bonnet from his Head, and put him on a Turban, Dubbing him thereby a Protestant Turk. He made him a present in the Name of the Grand Seignior, a Hecon Feather Enrich’d with Diamonds, a Sabre, a Pole-Ax, and a Green Ensign, a Colour they esteem sacred to their Prophet.
Some say to put a Crown on his Head, Declar’d the Grand Seignior gave him the Kingdom of Hungary, and saluted him King in the  Presence of all the Bassa’s of that Kingdom; but Future Circumstances prevented that Affair being brought to Perfection.
The Emperor, tho’ he had violent Suspicions of his Mischievous Designs, Consented to his Marrying the Princess Ragocksi, Mother of the present Prince, and Sister to Count Serine; who Turn’d Protestant as soon as she was marryed to him, and prov’d as violent against the Emperor as her Husband.
ADVICE from the Scandal. CLUB.
THe Society having so much private Business upon their hands this Week; had only time to read the two following Letters, in relation to the Publick; but were forced to defer speaking to the Particulars, till their next Sitting.
A Friend and Acquaintance of mine, experienced in the Laws and Customs of Excise, and in the Art of Stilling; told a Commissioner of Excise, of the Frauds of Stillers of Malt; demonstrating how the Government was Cheated, out of nigh one third part of the Duty upon Low Wines and Spirits, made from Malt; which Commissioner reported the Case to the rest, who Order’d all their Surveyors, to sit upon the abovesaid Stillers, to find out the Cheat. They Sat, and 8 of the 9 Surveyors gave it under their hands, to the abovesaid Commissioners, that no such Fraud was, or could be committed by the abovesaid Stillers. Wherefore, I desire, as soon as possible, your Impartial Answer to the following Queries. Whether any Tradesman will follow his Trade, and get Money by making Goods at 50s. loss upon every hundred Pounds value; which the abovesaid Stillers do, if they make no more Spirits from the Goods allowed to a Tun of Spirits, than what is charg’d. Whether J.B. formerly expelled the Excise for Ch—ing the Government out of several Sums of Money, can get an Estate Honestly in Ten Years time, having no other Business but the Excise, and a Wife and four Children to maintain, out of 80 Pounds per Annum? Whether J.D. formerly expell’d the Excise, for Ch—ing both the Government and Officers, out of several Summs of Money, can Honestly maintain a Wife, and in four Years time get 700 Pounds now at Interest, out of 80 Pounds per Annum, having no other Business but the Excise? Whether J.D.—d. having no Estate or Business but the Excise, can maintain 8 in Family, and live honestly, after the rate of 300 Year, out of 60 Pounds per Annum? Whether T.C. having no Estate or Business but the Excise, can maintain six in Family, and live honestly, after the rate of 160 Pounds a Year, out of 60 Pounds per Annum.
Your humble Servant,
Sept. 22. 1704.
A Friend of mine being one Night (as he told me) to meet with an Acquaintance at the Tavern; The Person expected came, brings with him one, who, he told my Friend, was an honest Gentleman, tho’ by Misfortunes, at present not under the best Circumstances; my Friend (who is always ready to serve any one in Distress) inform’d himself of the unfortunate’s Name, and Chambers in the Temple, went next day morning, knock’d at the Door, was desir’d, by a low Voice to come in, open’d the Door, saw at a good distance, at the farther end of a Room, what rather seem’d a Shadow of, than a Woman; being surpriz’d with the sight, was at a loss how to speak to it; which gave the Apparition time to break First, Sir, if you’d speak with Mr. P—, if you’ll Walk in and sit down a Minute, he’ll be here presently. Accordingly my Friend did; and the Miserable, Famish’d Object, in a Greazy tatter’d Gown that stuck as close to her as Crape to a Corps, by the nimble Motion, of all the Flesh she seem’d to have about her, her Tongue (from whence I conclude that that Part in Woman dies last) soon gave him to understand she was Wife to the Person stay’d for; whom presently after coming (and ’twas well he did, says my Friend, for the Wife and Chamber smelt so like Bedlam and its Inhabitants that I was almost suffocated) my Friend takes home to Dinner, after to the Tavern, tells him he mightily commiserated his circumstances, which he could not but be sensible, were the worst that could be; gave him a Guinea for a Gown for the Wife and a very good Coat he gave him; went the next Day to their Chamber, and spent Half a Piece, that they might have a good Meal, which he did believe they’d been long Strangers to; soon after this takes a Lodging near them; has the Man, his Wife, his Daughter for a Month together, every Day to Dinner and Supper; takes the Man every  Night to the Tavern pays his Club, and that not small matter; for my Friend is a True Bottle Man.
This intended Charity of my Friends could not cost him less modestly speaking (I was an Eye witness of most of it) than Five or Six Pounds; my friend t’other Day had given him unanswerable Proofs of this Fellow’s being false, when in an Affair he had intrusted him with, was enjoin’d to take no Notice of it, to hold his Hand, and to look upon him as a Rascal ever after, in order to it sends to the Fellow’s Chambers for a Paper he had left there; which was sent with this following Bill, which the aforesaid Fellow has the Impudence to bring my Friend indebted to him in,
|Attending at the Fountain and writing
|Going to Mr. T. Essex-Street.||0||6||8|
|Going to Mr. H. Essex-Street.||0||6||8|
|Going to your Lodgings in Westminster.||0||6||8|
|For taking a Lodging for you in Fleet-Str.||0||6||8|
|For going to Mr. W. in the Temple.||0||6||8|
|For going several times to Smithfield.||0||10||0|
Here’s Gratitude for you! Here’s a Return! Hinc illæ Lacrymæ, if it were not for such ungrateful Brutes the World would be more charitable.
Pray something by way of Correction to such, and something by way of Advice to my Friend: I would have him more cautious than he’s apt to be; but for the Benefit of the Poor would not have him turn Jew. Excuse the Length of this, from one you so much entertain, he never thinks you long enough, and is
your humble Servant,
A D V E R T I S E M E N T S.
MIscellanea Curiosa: Being a Collection (from the Philosophical Transactions) of some of the Principal Phoenomena in Nature, accounted for by the greatest Philosophers of this Age, viz. Mr. Newton, Capt Halley, &c. Together with several Discourses read before the Royal Society, for the Advancement of Physical and Mathematical Knowledge. (related without any Abridgments, and with the Cutts) Note, a Second Vol. will be published in a few Days. which will comprehend all the remaining Philosophical and Mathematical Discourses. Price each Vol. 5s. Printed for and sold by Jeffery Wale, at the Angel in St. Paul’s Church-Yard, and John Senex in Hemlock Court near Temple-Bar.
LIves English and Foreign: Containing the History of the most Illustrious Persons of our own and other Nations, from the Year 1559, to the Year 1690. By several hands; who have been assisted in the Work with many private Memoirs. In two Volumes in 8vo. The English Lives are, William Lord Burleigh, Sir Walter Raleigh, George Duke of Buckingham, Marquess of Montross, Oliver Cromwel, Duke of Hamilton, General Blake, Duke of Albemarl, Earl of Shaftsbury, Duke of Monmouth. Printed for B. Took, at the Middle-Temple-Gate in Fleet-Street, and W. Davis, at the Black-Bull in Cornhil; and sold by John Nutt near Stationers-Hall. 1704.
There is now preparing for the Press,
AN Authentick History of Publick Transactions and Affairs in England and Abroad, from the Restauration of King Charles II. (where my Lord Clarendon’s third and last Volume ends) to the Year 1678. with the Characters of Bishops, Ministers of State, Commanders by Sea and Land, &c. and a large Account of the Chief Mannagers and Intrigues of the Discontented Party at Home, within that Period. Written in Latin by the Right Reverend Father in God, Samuel Parker, late Lord Bishop of Oxford, and Faithfully Translated from the Original M.S. by Samuel Parker, Gent. and will be Printed for George Sawbridge in Little-Britain.
*** A Doctor in Physick Cures all the Degrees and Indispositions in Venereal Persons, by a most easie, safe, and expeditious Method; and of whom any Person may have Advice, and a perfect Cure, let his or her Disease be of the longest Date: He likewise gives his Advice in all Diseases, and prescribes a Cure. Dr. HARBOROUGH, ( a Graduate Physician) in Great Knight-Riders-street, near Doctors Commons.
AT the White Swan upon Snow Hill, over-against the Green Dragon Tavern, are made and sold the Newest fashion Flower-Pots for Gardens; Urns, Eagles, and Pine-Apples, to stand upon Posts of Large Gates; also large or small Figures, all made of hard Mettal, much more durable than Stone, and cheaper; also Candle Moulds, fit to make Wax or Tallow Candles, from 1 in the Pound, to 20: There is also made Artificial fountains, that Play Water from 1, 2, or 3 Foot, to 20 or 30 Foot high, 1, 2, 3, or 6 Hours together, without Repeating with the same Water; which Fountains or Engines may be made use of to extinguish Fire 40 or 50 Foot high, with a continued Stream, larger than the Common Fire-Engines.